Trees of Mystery
Klamath, California
''Mysterious trees are familiar sites to Roadsiders, from the haunting Metaphor: Tree of Utah in the Great Salt Lake Desert to the frightening Magic Crystal Tree at Georgia's Babyland General Hospital. However, America's only Trees Of Mystery billed as such are in California, at the northern end of that state's Redwood Exploitation Zone, and prove that you need not be a magician to turn wood into gold.''
''Giant statues of Paul Bunyan and Babe the blue ox guard the entrance of Trees of Mystery, as a midmorning crowd pours off the coast highway to embrace freaky Redwood hooha. Paul's right hand gives a continual sluggish wave as his breast-pocket loudspeaker greets all who enter in cheery lumberjack fashion. "Hiya, kids. Hi, folks."''
''Most of Paul's banter involves describing the clothes that people at his feet are wearing, so they don't think he's a recording. "Hello, there...you're wearing a blue sweatshirt! And the lady next to you is wearing a green jacket!" He'll also answer your size questions (Paul is 49 ft. tall, has a 24 ft. long ax, and 10 ft. high boots).''
''A forest trail winds its way past Paul, up into a giant, hollow, redwood log, and then back to the actual mystery trees, the ones shaped like pretzels and DNA strandoids. "Entirely by the forces of nature," you are reminded. Recorded messages recite each mystery.''
''The trail takes you to the Cathedral Tree, a cluster of six redwoods growing out of a single root in a tight semicircle. Pompous music plays over hidden loudspeakers while Nelson Eddy croons Joyce Kilmer's poem, "Trees." "Sink down. Oh traveler, on your knees. God stands before you in these trees." Signs inform appropriately awestruck visitors that countless weddings have been performed at this most beautiful of redwood spots.''
''The last section of the Trees Of Mystery recounts the exploits of tree-biter Bunyan, told through audiotaped "tall tales" and redwood chainsaw carvings. One can only wonder what Joyce Kilmer would've thought of it.''
''The gift store is a model for other tourist attractions. Bucking the trend of souvenir standardization, it features many customized mementos, like gold-trimmed shot glasses commemorating Trees of Mystery's 50th anniversary. According to a historic display, the original Bunyan, constructed in 1946, lasted only one year. Paul's head, made of paper mache, melted in the winter rains and caved in.''
Your Hosts, Paul and Babe.
''Paul Bunyan and Babe the Blue Ox are our official Hosts here at the Trees of Mystery. Paul has been with us pretty much since the begining. He's 49 feet 2 inches tall on a cold day. (3/4 of an inch taller on a warm day.) Paul greets you with a wave and a wink, and he's known far and wide for being a great talker. He'll talk your arm off if you let him! If I had a nickel for every word that came out of Paul's mouth, I'd be as rich as Pecos Bill! Babe, on the other hand, is more of the strong and silent type. And he's got heaps of both of those! Babe stands 35 feet tall in his bare hooves and tail. Paul and Babe together with their ballast weigh in at 860,000 pounds. That's as much as ten fully loaded lumber trucks. Oh yeah, in case you was wondering, Paul's ax is 25 feet long. It's a double-bitted chopping ax and back in Paul's heyday he could put 25 million board feet a day on the ground with it. But Paul hasn't been logging for a few years now, he says he wants to make sure there's enough timber around for people to look at and for all the critters out there in the forest to have a place to live. Said he's sort of semi-retired until the country needs him again. My goodness, I just realized that probably has something to do with all the stories he tells. He's bored! (But never boring.)''
''The present Paul Bunyan showed up the year before the Seattle Worlds Fair, which was in the early sixties. Might be that he knew if he stood here in our lot, he'd get to talk to lots and lots of people on their way to the fair! The present Babe has been here since 1949. At one time, Babe's head nodded and smoke blew out his nostrils. The smoke scared the heck out of small children, so that was discontinued. The head movement is inoperable due to bracing installed when he was moved in 1983 to make room for the new End of the Trail Museum. Near future plans call for removing the bracing so his head can move again, as well as adding several oxen-like sound capabilities. If you are familiar with oxen, you might notice some additions that a normal oxen does not have. That's because the fellow who originally put Babe together (Thompson family patriarch, Ray Thompson) was fresh from the city when he built Babe from a kit. He subsequently lived out here in the wilds of far Northern California long enough to assimilate the knowledge that every country kid gets by age 8, rued his urban ways, and was no longer considered "city". Even so, it was decided that, since poor old Babe had suffered enough what with turning blue from that storm and all, he should be left just as he was built, even if he's not anatomically correct for an ox... ( Also, happens to be a very popular photo-op)''
